Gaslighting is a strategy used by someone to gain dominance over another by making them doubt themselves. By introducing doubts into the person's thoughts, it leads them to constantly question what they believe to be true, gradually making them unsure about their own reality.
What is Gaslighting?
Do you find that your partner often says things that make you feel confused? And because of this, do you start to doubt your own understanding of what's happening in your relationship? Do you even start to wonder if you're going crazy? If this sounds like what you're going through, your partner might be doing something called "gaslighting," which is a term used by experts to describe this kind of behavior.
Where Does Gaslighting Come From?
The word "gaslighting" comes from a play called "Gas Light" from 1938. In the play, a husband makes his wife think she's losing her mind by making the gas-powered lights in their house dim without her noticing. When she mentions the lights changing, he denies it. This is a very harmful way of messing with someone's mind, making them doubt their feelings, what they think is real, and their sanity. This gives the person doing the harm a lot of control because messing with someone's mind is a way to have power over them. When someone starts to doubt their own thoughts and feelings, they're more likely to stay with the person hurting them.
10 Signs Someone is Gaslighting You
1. Telling Obvious Lies
Even when it's clear they're lying, they act like they're not. This makes you doubt yourself and get confused over simple things.
2. Always Denying Things
They deny saying things you know they did. They challenge you to prove it, making you doubt your memory and eventually believe their version of events.
3. Attacking What You Love
They use the things you care about to make you doubt yourself, like criticizing your job or parenting skills.
4. Making You Lose Your Confidence
Over time, their constant gaslighting changes you. You lose confidence and start to live in the reality they've created for you.
5. Words Don't Match Actions
They say they care but their actions tell a different story.
6. Rollercoaster of Criticism and Praise
First, they break you down, then they praise you, and then start the cycle all over again. This confuses you into thinking they aren't all bad.
7. Creating Confusion
They keep you confused and searching for clarity, which only they seem to provide, increasing their control over you.
8. Blaming You for Their Actions
If they're lying or cheating, they accuse you of those very things, forcing you to defend yourself.
9. Calling You Crazy
Knowing you're doubting your sanity, they call you crazy, and might even tell others the same, making it hard for you to get help.
10. Saying Everyone Else is Lying
They try to convince you that everyone else is against you, which makes you more dependent on them.
Gaslighting is a serious form of abuse. Recognizing these signs early can help victims seek the help they need.